Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
