Say something about gay babies.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
