Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
