I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
