She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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