...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
