Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
