Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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