I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
