please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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