I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
