the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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