I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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