I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
