Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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