Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
