This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
