I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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