So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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