I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
