Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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