i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
