"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize