woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
