return my video game
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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