My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
