You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
