I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize