pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We have so much sex to catch up on
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
