remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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