All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize