Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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