i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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