The maid of honor just puked.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
