you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize