Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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