Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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