Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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