I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
