Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
