What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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