We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
