He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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