i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
