Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
