then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
