so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
