I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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