I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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