You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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