Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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