She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
