I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
