I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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