You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this is an emotional support booty call
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
