Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
