the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
