dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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