do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
