you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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