It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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