He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
