Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
