Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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