Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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