I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
